RandomNPC – Video Game RPG Reviews, Editorials, and Features

So, what’s on our collective and individual gaming platters this week, you might ask? To which I’d reply TOUCHDOWN! THURMAN THOMAS! Then while you wonder what I said that for, I answer your question. So, here we go ^^

Michael “CactuarJoe” Beckett has been busying himself with Skies of Arcadia. At about 35 hours, he just left Stereotypical Chinese Land, having watched a funeral procession by the Chang Sings get interrupted by their rivals. You could say there was Big Trouble there.

T.J. “Nerdboy Himself” Condon is still chopping through Soul Nomad. He complains of slow going, aided and abetted by a newfound interest in that newfangled Persona animated series. Incidentally, did anybody ever get past the first boss in the first Persona? Because that was some jarring stuff. I’m running along gunning and fast-talking my way out of trouble and Guy in a Suit says RUN ALONG SONNY THIS GAME AIN’T FER GREENHORNS. Alas.

Er, sorry. I tend to ramble.

Anyhoo, resident number six Derek “Roku” Cavin is as busy as ever, but finds time for a little Fire Emblem on the side. That is, when he’s not attending school, editing videos, polishing up a score of reviews, and saving schoolchildren from tainted Brylcreem.

Cortney “Alethea” Stone, just coming down off the Mass Effect high, has set her sights on Disgaea. Exploding penguins aside, she has but scratched the surface of the game. Michael “Slayer of God” Kozinko continues in his quest to convince her that La Pucelle is superior. Time will tell if he is successful or not.

Speaking of Mike K., he’s up to his ears in Pokemon Pearl and Fallout. He’s quirky like that. He was last seen leaving the channel and heading for something he called Real Life, whatever that is. It sounds scary and frightening. My computer told me that I don’t know how bad it is out there.

The elusive Jason “Ishmael” Schreier remains ever… well, elusive. A $60 billion double dollar reward will be paid out for information leading to his capture.

Jerry “XeroZohar” Swain is up to some Startropics this week, dashed liberally with Crysis and with Rock Band for dessert. He’s suspected of trying to kill North Korean soldiers with a yo-yo and a copy of Rush’s “Moving Pictures”. Subject is assumed to be armed and extremely rockin’.

As for me, with Rogue Galaxy off the plate and the review forthcoming, I’ve set my sights firmly on The Witcher. I’ll say this much: for as much as he tries to sound like him, Geralt is no JC Denton. Still, not a bad game. And I swear I will get to Mass Effect someday. Seriously, I mean it. For reals this time.

…did I just say ‘for reals’? Oh god, it’s Arizona all over again.