Current Quests – Week of 12/23/07
’tis the season to be gaming, fa la la la laaaaughh I can’t do this, I’m sorry. I’ve heard too many Christmas songs over the radio at work and each one of them saps at my will to live. I love the season, I really do, but a man can only take so much of the same f-ing songs and the same f-ing movies over and over and over.
Anyway, here’s what we’re up to.
Smooth criminal look-alike Michael “CactuarJoe” Beckett has been busying himself with event legendaries in Pokemon Pearl, which may be why he hasn’t finished Tales of Eternia PSP yet. A lesser man than I would’ve made a Family Guy/Bill Cosby/Pokeman with the pokey and the man who sings with the guy and he AH AH AH! joke by now. Fortunately, I am not… oh. Damn it, I am a lesser man.
Renowned catgirl ninja Cortney “Alethea” Stone has since recovered power following the ice-related blackout that crippled a good chunk of her home state. She has since returned to her role as ‘unsurprisingly hot starship captain’ in Mass Effect, and was last seen trying to seduce one of her teammates. And now she understands why Bioware RPGs are so popular. One of us… one of us… one of us…
As per the content of his editorial, T.J. “Nerdboy Himself” Condon is preoccupied with his annual conquest of Final Fantasy VII. Since he didn’t tell me what else he was up to, I will use this space for personal messages. Jordan, if you’re reading this, you left your bag at work again. Craig, let me know where the New Years’ shindig is this year. And if anybody out there knows a good bounty hunter/party organizer, please have him contact me as soon as possible.
Senior black correspondant Michael “Slayer of God” Kozinko is up to chapter 10-2 in Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings. 10-2? Really? That’s gotta be some kind of funny coincidence. Sorta. Final Fantasy? 10-2? Anybody? Okay, I’ll stop. Anyway, he’s also taking another spin through Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter, up to the Biocorp labs at last report.
Rejected Aperture Science testee Jerry “XeroZohar” Swain just blazed through Bioshock and Orbiter, and has since taken to plumbing the depths of Gametap for forgotten and not-so-forgotten classics. Word is he’s working his way through Monster World IV and Psychonauts. And by ‘word is’ I mean ‘he told me’. Seriously, he’s right over there, you can ask him yourself.
Fan favorites Jason “Ishmael” Schreier and Derek “Roku” Cavin are incommunicado for the moment, being preoccupied with seasonsal family gatherings sometimes associated with a certain holiday that falls in December. Rumor has it they are cavorting like the Greeks of old. You know the ones I mean.
As for me, when I’m not chipping away at the increasingly meaty Rogue Galaxy, I’m preparing for my upcoming Oblivion review. My old flame Baldur’s Gate may yet make a special guest appearance, though all bets are off if the new girl Mass Effect is everything everybody else says she is. And I think I just got lost in my own metaphor. Whatever. Point is, Bioware owns me and my money.
From all of us at RandomNPC, we wish you all the Merriest of Christmases and the Happiest of Holidays, at least until the next one rolls around. Have fun out there, everybody!
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