Current Quests – Week of 5/04/08

Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, to another edition of Current Quests, the weekly column that investigates the deep, philosophical question of, “So what’re you doing?” This week, a good whack of the staff (myself included) have been devoured by Persona 3 FES, and are currently attempting to wrest their way back out of Tartarus. With the aid of an adorable mechanical girl and a dog with a knife clenched firmly in its jaw, we present to you the spoils of our efforts.

T.J. “Nerdboy Himself” Condon appears to be having trouble with the Lovers arcana boss, though I’m not entirely certain one should talk too much about being beaten senseless in a love hotel. It isn’t the sort of thing polite people talk about. On the other hand, he’s already maxed out two Social Links, and is closing in on a third, so ten bucks says the boss will be the one on the wrong end of the whip next time.

Cortney “Alethea” Stone is currently on a jaunt over to visit some friends in the lovely city of Chicago, but reports that the struggle against Wild Arms XF may be reaching a conclusion! We can only hope the Chicago mob doesn’t catch wind of the game, lest concrete overshoes become less fearsome by comparison.

Last time we checked, Derek “Roku” Cavin had made it all the way up to floor 140 of Tartarus, though it’s quite possible that he’s much higher by now. Roku is what we like to call “The Machine.” He’s a little scary when he gets focused. He may even build a rocket of some sort once he gets to the top of the tower, just to make sure. It will be powered by my jealousy, and will take him to the stars.

John “Karlinn” Boske has been finishing up another run through Mass Effect, as well as running through two Oblivion expansions, Knights of the Nine and Shivering Isles. We haven’t had any direct contact from Karl in a while, though, and our latest reports seem to indicate that he was pouncetackled so hard his face melted off.

Michael “Slayer of God” Kozinko reports that he’s made it to the 35th floor of the tower, having directed his attention towards developing Social Links in order to beat one of the bosses to be found in Tartarus. Nasty things, Tartarus bosses, especially on Hard Mode. The ones with no weaknesses tend to drain 90% of your HP merely by glancing your way.

Jordan “J_Sensei” Jackson, meanwhile, has been beating the crap out of Noise in The World Ends with You, finishing up some of the bonus material the game has to offer. Beyond that, he reports that he’s been driving at unsafe speeds while throwing turtle shells at other drivers, which means he’s either playing Mario Kart Wii, or he’s being actively sought out by the State Troopers for speeding and chelonian abuse.

In between rocking so hard on Rock Band that people three blocks away start headbanging and do not know why, Jerry “XeroZohar” Swain has been trundling around Liberty City, trying to find the Daily Show’s headquarters. And if this is not why GTAIV was made in the first place, I will be a very sad man.

As for me, I’ve reached up to the top of the third block of Tartarus, somewhere in the upper 80s, I believe. Playing on Hard Mode is an interesting experience, especially given my neurotic need to fuse the highest possible level Persona available at any given time. It’s a bit like Pokemon, really – I really think that if any of the SMT games had any way of pitting your team of demons or Persona or whatnot against another player’s, I would probably fall into a state of addiction not seen since the opium wars of the 19th century.

At any rate, that’s it from us. Feel free to pester us in the comments about what you’ve all been playing this week, or what you’d like to see on the site. Until next week! ^^

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